Albuquerque chords Guitar Chords Weird Al

G# G#
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the
G# G#
stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the
G# G#
street from Jerry?s Bait Shop? You know the place? Well anyway, back then
G# G# G# G#
life was going swell and everything was juuuuust peachy? except of course
G# G# G# G#
for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me
G# G# G# G#
a big old bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. Daaaaaaaouh! Big bowl of

G# G#
my mom, I said, ?Hey mom, what?s up with all the sauerkraut?? And my dear
G# G# G# G#
sweet mother she just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train.
G# G# G# G#
And she leaned right down next to me, and she said, ?It?s good for you!?
D D D D G# G# G# G# D D D
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
D G# G# G# G# D D D D G# G#
and force-fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty-six and a half
G# G#
years old. That?s when I swore that someday, someday I would get out of
G# G# G#
that basement and travel to a magical far away place where the sun is
D G#
always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are
D G# D
oh so fluffy, where the shriners and the lepers play their ukulele?s all
G# D
day long and anyone on the street?ll gladly shave you?re back for a
G# D D D D G#
nickel. Wakawakadoodoo yah! Well let me tell you people, that it wasn?t
G# G# G# G#
long at all before my dream came true because the very next day a local
G# G#
radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number
G# G# G# G#
of molecules in Leonard Neroy?s butt. I was off by three but I still won
G# G#
the grand prize. That?s right a first class one-way ticket, to
G# G#m7 D Dm7 G# D G# G# G#m7 D Dm7 G# D
A – lbuquerque, A – lbuquerque! Ah yah, you know I never
G# G#
been on a real airplane before and I gotta tell ya it was really great.
G# G# G# G#
Except that I had to ist between two large Albanian women with
G# G#
excruciatingly severe body odour and the little kid in back of me kept
G# G#
throwing up the whole time. The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper
G# G# G# G#
and salted peanuts and the in flight movie was “Biodome” with Polly Shore.
G#
And oh yah three of the airplane’s engines burned down and we went into a
D G#
tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant
D G# G#
fireball and everybody died! Except for me. You know why? ?Cause I had my
D G# D
train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position, had my
G# D G# D
train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position, had my
G# D G# D
train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position. Ah ha ha
G# G# G# G#
ha! Oh ha ha! Ahhhh. So I crawled from the twisted burnin? wreckage, I
G# G#
crawled on my hands and knees for three full days, dragging along my big
G# D G#
leather suitcase, and my garment bag, and my tenor saxophone, and my
D G# D
twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky lucky autographed glow in the dark
G# D D D D
snorkel. But finally a arrived at the world famous ?Albuquerque Holiday
G# G# G#
Inn?, where the towels are oh so fluffy, and you could eat you?re soup
G# G#
right out of the ashtrays if you wanna, it?s OK their clean. Well I
G# D G#
checked into my room and I turned down the AC and I turned on the spectro
D G#
vision and I was just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
D G#
that I love so very very much when suddenly there?s a knock on the door.

G# G# G# G# G#
Well now who could that be? I say, ?who is it?? No answer. ?Who is it??
G#
There?s no answer. ?Who is it!?? They?re not saying anything, so finally I
G#
go over and I open the door and just as I suspected, it?s some big fat
G# G# G#
hermaphrodite with a flock of seagull?s haircut and only one nostril. Oh
G# G# G# D
man I hate it when I?m right. So anyway he burst into my room and grabbes

my lucky snorkel and I?m like ?hey, you can?t have that! That snorkel has
G# G# G#
been just like a snorkel to me.? And he?s like ?tough? And I?m like ?give
G# G# G# G#
it.? And he?s like ?make me.? And I?m like ?k.? So I grabbed his leg and
D D G# G# D
he grabbed my oesophagus and I bit off his ear and he chewed off my
D G# G#
eyebrows and I took out his appendix and he gave me a valonic irrigation
G# G#
yes indeed you better believe it. And somehow in the middle of it all the
G# G# G# G#
phone got knocked off the hook, and twenty seconds later I heard a
G# G#
familiar voice, and you know what it said, I?ll tell you what it said, it
G# G# D D D G# G# D D G#
said, ?if you?d like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you
G# D D G# D G# G#
need help hang up and then dial you?re operator. If you?d like to make a
D D D G# G# D G# G# D D
call, please hang up and try again. If you need help hang up and then dial
G# D G# G#m7 D Dm7 G# D G# G# G#m7 D Dm7 G#
you?re operator. In A – lbuquerque, A – lbuquerque! Well
G# G# G#
to cut a long story short he got away with my snorkel. But I made a solemn
G# G#
vow right then and there that I would rest, I would not sleep for an
G# G# G# G#
instant until the one-nostriled man was brought to justice. But first I
G# G# D D
decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car and drove over to the donut
G# D G#
shop and I walked right up to the guy behind the counter and he says ?yah,

wadaya want??

G# G# G# G#
I said, ? you got any glazed donuts?? He said, ?naaa were all out of
G# G# G# G#
glazed donuts.? I said, ?well you got any jelly donuts?? He said, ?naaa
G# G#
were all out of jelly donuts.? I said, ?you got any Bavarian cream-filled
G# G# G# G#
donuts?? He said, ?naaa were all out of Bavarian cream-filled donuts.? I

G# G#
said, ?you got any cinnamon rolls?? He said, ?naaa were all out of
G# G# G# G#
cinnamon rolls.? I said, ?you got any apple fritters!?? He said, ?naaa
G# G#
were out of apple fritters.? I said, ?you got any bear claws!!?? He said,

?wait a minute, I?ll go check.

G# G# G#
Naaa were out of bear claws.? I said, ?well in that case, in that case
G# G# G# G#
what do you have?? He said, ?all I?ve got right now is this box of one

G# D G#
hands over the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out and they
D G#
immediately latch onto my face and start biting me all over ayiyi
G# G# G# G#
yiyiyiyi. Oh, oh man they were just going nuts! Their terin? me apart. You
G# G#F
know I think it was just about that time that little ditty started goin?
D DB G# G#F D DB
through my head. I believe it went a little something like this.
G# G# G# G# D D D D G# G# G# G# D D D D G# G# G# G# D D D
?Doooohgetemoffmegettemoffmeooogetemoffgettemoffoooohgetoooohgeooohoooahhh
D G# G# G# G# D D D D G# G#
hohhhiahhooohahahahhhohhhhh!? I ran out onto the street with these flesh
G# G# G# G#
eating weasels all over my face, waiving my arms all around and just
G# G#
runnin? and runnin? and runnin? like a constipated wiener dog. And as luck
G# G# G# G#
would have it, that?s exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams, her
G# G#
name was Zelda. She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite
G# G# G# G#
and hair the colour of strange peaches. I?ll never forget the very first
G# G# G#
thing she said to me, she said, ?hey, you got weasels on your face.?

G# G#
That?s when I knew it was true love, we were inseparable after that, oh we
G# G# G# G#
ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint-
G# G# G#
flavoured dental floss. The world was our burrito. So we got married and
D G# D
we bought us a house and had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and
G# G# G#
Superfly. Oh we were so very very very happy, oh ya. But then one fateful

night Zelda said to me, she said, ?Sweetie-pumpkin, do you want to join
G# G#F G# D DB G# D
the Columbia Record Club?? I said, ?Wooooah hold on now baby, I?m
G# D G#
just not ready for that kind of a commitment.? So we broke up and I never
G# G# G# G# G# G#m7 D Dm7 G#
saw her again but that?s just the way things go, . In A –
G# D G# G#m7 D Dm7 G#
lbuquerque, A – lbuquerque!

G# G#
Anyway then things really started looking up for me, because about a week
G# G# G# G#
later I finally achieved my life-long dream. That?s right I got me a part
G# G#
time job at the ?Sizzler.? I even made employee-of-the-month after I put
G# G#
out that grease-fire with my face. Oh ya everyone was pretty jealous of me
G# G# G# G#
after that. I was getting lota attitude. OK like one time, I was out in
G# G# G# G#
the parking lot trying to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil, when
G# G#
I see this guy Marty tryin? to carry a big old sofa up the stairs all by
G# G#
himself. So I-I say to him, I say, ?hey, you want me to help you with
G# G# G# G#
that? And Marty he just rolls his eyes and goes, ?nooooo I want you to cut
G# G# D G# G# G# G#
off my arms and legs with a chain saw.? So I did. And then he gets all
D D D D G# G# G# G# D D D D
indignant on me, he?s like, ?hey mad I was just being sarcastic.? Well
G# G# G#
that?s just great, how was I supposed to know that? I?m not a mind reader
G# G#
for crying out loud. Besides now he?s got a really cute nickname ?Torso

what?s he complaining about? Say that reminds me of another amusing
G# G# G# G#
anecdote; this guy comes up to me on the street and tells me he hasn?t had
G# G#
a bite in three days. Well I knew what he meant but just to be funny I
G# G# G# G#
took a big bite out of his jugular vein, and he?s yelling and screaming
D
and bleeding all over and I?m like, ?hey come on don?t you get it?? But he
G# G# G# D D G#
just kept rolling around on the sidewalk bleeding and screaming, YAHHHH!
G# D G# G#
OHHHH! AHHHH! And I?m completely missing the irony of the whole situation,
G# G# G# G# G# G#
man some people just can?t take a joke you know? Anyway, um? um? where was
G# G# G# G# G# G#
I? Kinda lost my train of thought. Oh, uh, well oh okay anyway I know it?s
G# G#
a roundabout way of saying it but I guess the whole point I?m trying to
G# D G# D
make is, I, HATE, SAURKROUT! That?s all I?m really trying to say, and by
G# D
the way if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an
G# D G# D
exsulstential quandary full of woeing and self doubt and wrapped with the
G# D G#
pain and isolation of you?re pitiful meaningless existence, at least even
D G#
take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this
D G# D G# D
crazy old mixed up universe of ours, there?s still a little place, called
G# G#m7 D Dm7 G# D G# G#m7 D Dm7 G# D G# D
A – lbuquerque, A – lbuquerque! Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
G# D G# D G#
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
D G# D G# D G# D G# G# D D G# G# D D
Albuquerque, I say A, A, L, L, B, B, U, U? QUERQUE! QUERQUE!
G# G# D D G# G# D D G# G#
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
D D G# G# D D G# G# D D
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
G# G# D D G# G# D D G# G#
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
D D G#
Albuquerque, Albuquerque,